So the first day back after Thanksgiving break, the little one ends up having to stay at home. This couldn't have happened at a better time, as I had just spent all Sunday drinking, as usual, and even had told The Wife that I couldn't wait for Monday because it was going to be the first day in a long time that I had nothing pressing to do. So imagine my fright when at 7am, after I had just fallen back asleep from waking up for some reason at 5:30, I feel a light rubbing on my arm. I JUMPED up out of bed, feverishly smacking at whatever spider was surely trying to climb up my arm to eat my face. Turns out it was just The Wife, lightly stroking her fingers on my arm to wake me up less harshly. Well in trying to be nice she nearly lost a hand. From what I can remember I was flailing at that "spider" like my life depended on it, then once I realized it was her, I grabbed my chest as my heart rate was in the goddamn thousands. Then after all that she tells me I need to get up because the kid is sick and is staying home. Great.
Now this post isn't just to show people that I'm a bitch. The point of this post is to discuss kids staying at home and the reasons that they should or should not get the day off. I grew up in a time when unless I could point to a limb on the floor and say, "My leg fell off", I'd be going to school. And even if I had lost that leg, if my dad could secure a good enough tourniquet so as to keep the blood droppage to a minimum, I'd be hopping my one-legged ass into History class. There need to be definite rules because the majority of the time that spider starts crawling up my arm, it's to alert me that a kid is staying home for a reason that in my opinion, if looked at more closely and not just reacted, wouldn't be enough to keep them out of school.
So let's go through some normal kids' reasons they want to say home, and see which ones hold up to the SB test of "being sick enough" to miss school. If you're a parent you'll want to take notes, because we all know a kid staying home from school is a big pain in the ass and if you can avoid this happening, it's for the best for all parties involved, that is, unless they're really sick and because of this blog you've sent your child to infect the entire 3rd grade with the Bubonic Plague.